If you want your college essay to pack a serious punch, you need to be vulnerable and tell your stories. (Even the tough ones.)

Why? Because your stories have shaped you, and you’re the only You applying.

So, by including your most compelling personal stories, your essay will be interesting, unique, and stand out from the rest.

1) Take readers on your real journey

“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” – ALEX ELLE

Have you had a seminal, life-altering moment? When have you been forced to pivot, and how did you navigate the change of direction? What relationship, for better or worse, has impacted you the most? Your complicated, challenging experiences shape you in profound, life-altering ways. Let the admissions officers really get to know you by including one (or more) of your most compelling personal stories.

Example #1

INSTEAD OF JUST

Stating that your parents’ divorce taught you how to get through difficult situations …

TRY ADDING

How hard it was to get out of bed for a few months, how angry you felt, what you’ve learned (and are still learning) about the complexity of relationships.

Example #2

INSTEAD OF JUST

Explaining that you put in countless hours and effort to earn your high GPA …

TRY ADDING

How difficult it was to remember what you studied on tests, that you gave up trying to get good grades more than once, and what or who gave you the motivation to keep trying.

2) Pack a punch with details

“Good writing is remembering detail. Don’t forget things that were painful or embarrassing or silly. Turn them into a story that tells the truth.” – PAULA DANZIGER

Your life is far deeper and more nuanced than what you post on social media. If you dig deep enough (and you can), you’ll remember details that are poignant, exciting, funny, heartbreaking, quirky, and just plain awful. Sprinkling those details into your essay will make it (and you!) much more interesting and compelling.

Example #1

INSTEAD OF JUST

Saying you volunteered at a 50’s dance for senior citizens …

TRY ADDING

Sitting by an elderly woman at the dance, listening to her first-hand account of what it was like to actually be at a dance in the 1950’s.

Example #2

INSTEAD OF JUST

Listing lifeguarding as your summer job …

TRY ADDING

How terrified you felt when you had to give CPR to an unresponsive elderly gentleman who had fallen off a treadmill.

3) There are no fairy tale endings

“I wanted a perfect ending. I’ve learned (that) life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.“ – GILDA RADNER

There are no fairy tale endings … and that’s OK. A manufactured ‘happy ending’ isn’t what admissions officers are looking for. Life is complicated, no one gets it right every time, and not all stories have a satisfying ending. We all still have lots to learn and figure out. (Even the ‘perfect’ kids at school, who seem to have it all figured out, definitely don’t have it all figured out.) So it’s more than OK – and actually makes for a much stronger piece – to acknowledge and discuss life’s messiness in your essay.

Example #1

INSTEAD OF JUST

Saying you worked hard and learned to love the kids while volunteering for a week at an orphanage in Mexico …

TRY ADDING

Your feelings of helplessness at the end of the week when you realized that your hard work and sacrifice for those incredible kids would do little to actually change the trajectory of their lives.

Example #2

INSTEAD OF JUST

Explaining how crushed you were when you got cut from the varsity team as an incoming senior, but also how much you learned from the experience …

TRY ADDING

As a privileged white kid, how angry and deeply conflicted you felt, when the incoming sophomore who replaced you on the team was far less experienced or skilled. And, also, a different skin color than yours.

Final words from Dr. Seuss

“Today you are You, That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you.“ – DR. SEUSS

Writing your college essay can feel overwhelming. But an essay that says ‘WOW’ is absolutely within your reach. Especially if you REALLY take Dr. Seuss’s advice to heart by being vulnerable and telling your most compelling stories. Remember: your stories have shaped you, and you’re the only You applying.

I’m available for hire and consultation. (September & October are busy months!) For more info, send me an email: susieboyce5@gmail.com